I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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