And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize