I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
