I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
