Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
