I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
