So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
