No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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