he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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