ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You made out with two different species that night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize