how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
