Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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