I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
