Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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