God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize