Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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