I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need water and some morals
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
