like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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