so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize