He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What changed your mind?
Being sober
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
