I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
