A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
