I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
