Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
