i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You're like the curious george of whores
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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