does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
