I'm sorry my penis didn't work
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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