I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
