hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
