At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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