i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
