she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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