I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
wow bdsm is so cute
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize