i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
