We're like a lot better than the average bears
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
