he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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