My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
