you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Everything about him screamed your future.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
