So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
