You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize