he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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