yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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