Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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