she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
