but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
dude. I can hear the air.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
