I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize