could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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