Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
