did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
