GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
