look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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