A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
