Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
