What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
