"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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