while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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