I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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