i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
