she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
