Need sex. Gaining weight.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
