He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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