Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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