I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can I color on your dick again?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
