so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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