omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
